truth

Recently, I've been feeling pretty damn bad.
It's like my soul's a little lost, not knowing where to find my bearings in life. I feel really lost, really helpless, really down.
Work hasn't been exactly kind to me, I feel like a constant fool and it's a struggle to muster a real smile on my face every single day. Only when work has really ended would I finally heave a sigh of relief and feel pure joy of not having to feel like a worthless and lonely fool.
It's like a constant battle. A battle fought with only me by my side. I always try to stay positive, telling myself that tomorrow's gonna be a better day, yet deep down inside I know that's nothing but a lie.
I was hoping that the people would be nice, patient and kind, yet their stares feel like icicles in my heart and I'm constantly worrying of offending them. They always asked me why I was so unsure of myself, why did I seem so unhappy. Truth is, I don't know.

My mind is a whirlwind of confusion.

That's why I'm constantly disappearing, always hiding in the warmth and comfort of the hkp office, where I know I'm in control and everyone cares about one another.
I should be trying to bond with the FO people, yet somehow it's tough. So tough when no one seems to be true.
Right now, I don't know what I should do.

Luckily I know I'll always have my boy to depend on.
God knows how I'll do without him, he's just like my anchor, the one constant in my life.

So much emotions running through me today.
Goodnight, let's hope tomorrow would be a better day.

XOXO.